Dating for the First Time After Divorce

Divorce can be a turning point in our lives, but it is definitely not the end of the world. For this reason, you need to put yourself back on your feet, and start dating again. Even if you think about yourself about being too old for this, never is too late to get to know a nice person to share your interests with.

Dating after divorce is like learning to ride a bike once again. Even if you used to be good at it, you still would feel a little bit nervous and inadequate about it. For those of you who feel rusty, or they feel like they do not belong there, let me just tell you a thing: dating after divorce can turn out to be an engaging and beneficial experience. After all, you get to know new people and to go out when you feel like your world has been crushed apart.

This is not true. I know that the idea or sending a message or asking someone out on a date might feel a little bit too much, especially since most of us think about the rejection. A rejection might be a down part, but it can happen. If it does happen, there is nothing to worry about. There will be other dates and other persons to get to know.

On the other hand, keep in mind that there are persons just like you out there, they also have their sensitivities, their passions, their problems, and they want to know someone to love and share emotions with.

If you want to know a nice person, you need to be a nice person. Therefore, keep in mind these few advices, and you will definitely find someone to talk to and to befriend to.

1.    Be honest and specific. When you create your online dating profile, you need to be accurate. Be specific in your own profile since you will eventually get to know a person and you do no want her to find out that you are full of lies, that nothing regarding your person is true. Therefore, when completing your profile, make sure you type in real things, the real aspect of your life. Be honest and describe yourself the way you are.

2.    Now, the profile picture is the first thing people browsing your profile will see. Therefore, you need to upload a good clear picture. Several pictures are even better. As you imagine, you need to pick those that are flattering yet realistic. Do not make use of professional photo programs which only distortion the picture, and it shows a bad image of you. Choose only the best pictures, pictures that display the real you, in a clean and clear manner. Do no make use of hats, sunglasses, or excessive makeup.

3.    You will have to invest some time in building your profile. You need to add personal information, hobbies, passions, interests, likes, and dislikes. The good thing with online dating is that you get to build your profile in the way you want it. Only when you are ready, you can move forward in meeting and discover new people. You may make some mistakes, but hey, we learn from out mistakes.

4.    It is important to know your strong points. Also, try to live in the present days. There is no need to talk about your problems, about your ex, or about your children at the first date. If everything goes as planned, you will have a chance to discuss pretty much any of these issues. If you maintain a positive level, you will see that you will feel happier and more confident to interact with new people.

5.    In the last part, make sure you are optimistic, honest, and open. If you have some difficult times in the past, if you experienced different bad relationships, it does not mean that all of them are meant to be the same. You might encounter someone who is actually nice, reliable, and confident in your future relationship.

Keep in mind that there is life and love after a bad divorce, but it is up to you to move forward and tryout something new. The time you spend looking for someone else it will be very helpful for you to broaden you as a person and as a relationship partner. When you meet the right person, you will appreciate yourself more. Until then, never give up and try to be yourself in pretty much any situation. 

5 Questions You Should Avoid on a First Date

Dating after a long relationship can be pretty hard, especially if you do not think you have it in you. For this reason, you should prepare a little bit in advance. Since asking for a date is still the boys' task, they need to be very careful on making a good first impression. You know that there is no other chance to make another first impression, so you need to do your best.

At the first date, there is not much information to weight down. Therefore, your partner will settle with what you want to offer. Therefore, you need to show the best out of you. In the same time, when you ask a girl on a date, you might want to avoid asking the following annoying questions.

1. What are we going to do next?

If you are going to ask a girl on a date, you need to be prepared. Therefore, you should definitely not ask her what she wants to do on your date. You need to have something prepared in advance in order to show confidence and willingness. I know you are going to pick her up, and you assume she knows some good places near her, but this should not be your option. You need to think about a place that makes you comfortable and confident.

2. What is your job?

Even if you feel proud about your job, this does not mean you need to start talking about it all the time. In the same time, you should not ask her about her job and her income. This will only show that you are interested in her position and income. Women do not like men who brag about their financial status or about what they do for a living. If you still want to discuss your job, you should say how your job allows you to spend your free time doing some of your hobbies. On the other hand, if you do not like your job, you could easily say, “I hate my job” and share your plans.

3. What is your Type?

As some of you might imagine, this is a really uncomfortable question. It will only show that you lack confidence, and you need approval for her choices in the matter of men. You are her type, starting with the moment she accepted to go out with your. Do not talk about your type either. You will end up describing her, which will make her uncomfortable, or you will become rude, by describing someone else. The same goes for the things you hate. Better focus on the things you like, on the things she likes and find a middle subject that is pleasing both of you.

4. Will you want to cover the bill?

 This might sound like something a man never asks, but in fact, I came across such a person, and I must confess I felt I had no words to answer. I know that it is not a man’s job to pay the whole bit, but it is definitely his job to offer. I would never let a man pay the whole bill on the first date, but at least, he should ask for it. The best way is to offer to pay the bill, and if a woman insists on splitting the bill, you can agree with this. The bill can become a terrible turning point, especially if you do not know how to handle the situation. However, it all depends on the type of person you are, and on the type of person, you go out with.

5. Should we move the date to my place?

I must confess this is the worse question a man should ask, especially after the first date. This will only prove that you wanted her in your sheets, and you do not care about how she felt during the night. However, I am not saying that this is not a possible scenario. You can move the date at your place, but only after you have seen multiple signs of acceptance. If a woman showed you, interest in getting more private and intimate, then you should ask this question, but not that direct. You should put the question in a different manner.

As you can see, dating can turn out to be great, as long as you know what to do and when to do it. I am sure that most of you will feel nervous and without confidence, at least at start, especially when you have not been dating for a while now. Nevertheless, in the same time, you will manage to do and say the right things, as long as you remember to be polite, respectful, and honest.